What hurts the most
by Little.Latina
Summary: She saved the daughter of her best friend, and now hers might not survive.
1. An awful person

**Chapter One**

**An Awful Person**

"_That's because you're awful. You are an awful person"_

You can't believe you said _that_ to her.

Her, Lynette Scavo, your best friend.

Lynette Scavo, your closest friend.

Lynette Scavo, the friend you consider a sister.

Lynette Scavo, the friend that so unselfishly held you in her arms and comforted you every time you went to her crying because you were afraid you would lose her to a cancer battle.

"_You have every right to go to Hell"_

No, you can't believe you said _that_ to her either.

"_You obviously aren't my friend"_

As coldly spoken words go back to you, as coldly spoken words eat away at you, as coldly spoken words bruise your heart and soul as they replay themselves over and over again in your burn out head, as coldly spoken words worsen your sleepless state with their harsh effect on your restless anatomy, you kiss the forehead of your sleeping daughter, whose life has been saved by the person you called _awful_ earlier today.

She saved your daughter, and as a consequence her twins had to be born prematurely.

She saved your daughter, and as a consequence she lost her baby boy.

She saved your daughter, and as a consequence now hers is hooked into machines that help her fighting to breathe, fighting to live, fighting to exist, while yours – thanks to her, to that person you referred of as awful, that person you said had every right to go to Hell, that person you trashed – is a little bit injured, but in despite of that, she is fine and you have the certainty that she will be okay.

She saved our daughter, and now she is lying on a hospital bed, unconscious, while her baby is lying on a crib without the warmth of a mother.

She saved our daughter, and now she is in a very, very bad shape, and doctors can't tell if she will make it through the night.

She saved her. Lynette Scavo. The woman you referred of as an awful person.

The woman you said wasn't your friend.

The woman you said had every right to go to Hell.

And as you listen to Celia's relaxed, even breaths, you think of Lynette's daughter, whose lungs are not strong enough, whose fragile body lacks of the necessary strength to fend itself.

She saved your daughter, and now hers might not survive.


	2. Keep holding on

**Chapter 2**

**Keep Holding On **

It was the name your wife wanted to give Parker: Patrick William Scavo. You had told her you disliked it, and although she had insisted, the discussion was over shortly after that. You promised her she would choose the name of your next child; she had laughed bitterly at the mention of another son or daughter coming into your lives in the near future and she had swore to you she would eat your balls off if you ever knocked her up again.

Patrick William Scavo had to be born prematurely and he died forty eight minutes after his birth: his body was too fragile, his organs weren't fully well developed, his lungs couldn't function without help, and even though he was immediately taken to the hospital ICU where nurses, doctors and machines tried to help him, the tiny child gave up and passed away in the arms of his father.

The doctors knew he wouldn't be able to take it for much longer. They asked you if you wanted to see him, hold him, be there with him when it happened, and you said _yes_.

He passed away in your arms.

He breathed his last in your arms.

Your son died in your arms.

His twin sister - _your_ _daughter_ - was lying on the crib next to Patrick's. While you gently rocked his small, lifeless body, you looked down and saw her: she was as tiny and as fragile as he had been.

As the first tears – tears you had refused to let fall at first – filled your eyes and started to stream down your face, the searing pain that was burning in your chest intensified when the thought that you could lose her as well crossed your mind.

You couldn't bare the sight of your own daughter in that deplorable condition.

You had to leave that room; you had to get out of there.

You kissed Patrick's forehead for a last time and placed his little body back on the crib. A nurse and a doctor were there with you, they had been there all the time. With one look from their eyes you knew they would take care of the remnant details before they could give you Patrick's body so you could put it to rest in peace.

You made an effort and looked at your daughter again. She was hooked into machines, machines that were helping her breathe. She was fighting to survive, fighting to make it through it.

_She is a fighter, just like her mom is_.

That thought caused your trembling lips to curl into a sad smile as more tears fell from your clouded by sadness eyes: your daughter was Lynette's also, and if she was anything like her mother, then she was a real fighter. If she was anything like her mother, then she would come out of that just fine.

She just had to keep holding on, so did you, and so did Lynette.

"Keep holding on, baby girl" you whispered to your daughter before you left the ICU and headed towards the bedroom where your wife was, still unconscious after the c-section and unaware of the fate Patrick's life had run.

_Keep holding on_ you told yourself, because with each step you were taking you just felt more and more devastate.

_My wife needs me, my daughter needs me, __and my other children need me. I must keep holding on. Come on, Scavo, keep holding on_.


	3. Guilt

**Chapter 3**

**Guilt**

You listened to your wife's cries of pain as you held her in your arms.

You listened to them as you tried to sooth her, as you stroked her hair and whispered calming words in her ears.

You listened to your wife repeating over and over again that she was an awful person and that she would never forgive herself for what she had told her best friend earlier that day before the plane crash happened.

You listened to her crying until exhaustion finally won the battle and she fell asleep in your embrace, with her head resting on the crook of your neck and her body nested in your chest after the sobs finally subsided.

She felt guilty, she said, and guilt was something you too as well were feeling.

You shouldn't have treated her the way you did.

You shouldn't have humiliated her the way you did.

You shouldn't have put her in such a complicated position like you did.

You shouldn't have put business before friendship.

You should have tried forgiving her; you should have found it in your heart to forgive her.

Some of the things she had done weren't right, but you should have given her a second chance. She was the godmother of your children, for God's sake! She was yours and your wife's best friend. She was a person that had always been there by your side every time you had needed her.

She had made mistakes, yes, having lied to you was one of them and she shouldn't have done it, but she was just protecting herself and her family, she was just trying to protect her job… You couldn't have said you were sure your wife wouldn't have done the exact same thing as Lynette.

Lynette, a woman you admired and loved as a friend, a woman you truly cared about although the things that had been going on lately between the two of you as a consequence of work issues, was in a very bad shape and she had just lost her son.

_She doesn't know it yet_ you thought as you kissed your sleeping wife's forehead. _She hasn't woken up yet_. _She doesn't know her son died, and she doesn't know her daughter might die as well_.

Ten hours had passed since the plane crash had taken place, and there you were, sitting on a chair next to your daughter's hospital bed, with your wife sleeping in your arms, and the guilt you were feeling consuming you savagely.

_That woman saved our daughter, and now she lost a child and could lose another. Tom must be sick with worry, so must be her children, and instead of being there with them, offering them our support, we're here hiding because we don't know what to do or how to do it or what to say or how to say it… _

You took a deep breath and decided your wife and you needed to go see Tom Scavo.

"Gabby…" you gently whispered in her ear in order to wake her up "Gabby, wake up, baby… There is someone who needs us"

You were about to do something that would ease your feelings of guilt.


End file.
